A Quick Look at Teen Depression
Being unhappy, moody, and angst-ridden has somehow been a typical trademark of a normal teenager. To some extent, it is normal for teenagers to be in a dark mood sometimes, and for this mood to change a lot, primarily because teenagers are dealing with many physical and sociological adjustments and developments happening in and around them. However, teen depression is a very dangerous thing to contend with. Many teens who suffer from severe depression engage in dangerous activities, associate with the wrong crowd, develop drug or alcoholism problems, hurt themselves, or even commit suicide. Many parents are heartbroken over the fact that they didn’t see it coming, and they weren’t able to help their child about it.
Turning Winds has dealt with numerous cases of teen depression in their program. One has to recognize that teens who are depressed often cannot help themselves out of it, and they need to be helped by their families and through therapy.
To know whether your teen is suffering from depression or not, you must learn to look out for the signs. At first they may be subtle, and at other times, they may be a bit confusing because they look like behavior any normal teenager may exhibit. One classic sign of teen depression could be a change from their normal sleeping habits. While it’s normal for teenagers to adjust to the demands of school and their developing social life by getting more sleep, depressed teenagers show a marked change in their sleeping patterns. They may stay up extremely late in the night and then wake up extremely late in the morning. They may spend an inordinate amount of time sleeping in their room even if they didn’t have a long night.
- Depressed teens may also withdraw from family and friends. If your teen never had a problem about relating with his/her siblings but then all of a sudden just stops communicating or interacting with them, something may be up. If your teen stopped asking friends over, or if he/she has stopped accepting phone calls and keeps more to him/herself, maybe it’s time to talk to them and ask them what’s wrong.
- Depressed teens may also begin acting out in ways that they’ve never done before. They may be caught vandalizing properties or shoplifting even though he/she doesn’t need to. You may catch them smoking or drinking, or you may find drugs when you look through their things. They may lie about it, but the fact that they have the substances in their possession may be a red flag that you shouldn’t ignore.
- Some teens show a preoccupation with death and dying. They may talk a lot about it with their friends and siblings, or experiment with self-mutilation. They may say their subtle goodbyes to the people that they love, for example, telling a younger sibling that they will always love them and that they should always take care of themselves. They may start giving their prized possessions away. All these are classic signs of suicidal tendencies and need to be addressed immediately.
Turning Winds help parents provide a safe environment where underlying issues to teen depression are explored and dealt with. In this kind of environment, teens are encouraged to open up to therapy and to people who want to help them.
Helping Your Teen Through Depression
We all know the teenage years can be difficult, with unaccountable mood swings, periods of apathy, rebelliousness or anger. We have all been there, so it is nothing new to us. That’s why it is easy to miss the signs of stress and anxiety that can lead to depression in teenagers. We need to be attentive to what they are saying and to the way they are acting.
Take time to listen
The most important thing we can do to help our teens through depression is to take time to listen. At the start it may be hard to get them to open up, as they might be used to us in our parenting role of correcting or admonishing rather than just listening. They may not be used to the idea of our listening in a caring, non-judgemental way. In fact, our relationship with them might be one of their problems. They might feel they cannot talk openly to us because we would not understand. In addition to that, they may feel foolish and think we will make light of their problems and not take them seriously.
Hopefully, with kindness and patience, we will be able to build understanding, so we can help our young people get through this difficult period without any longterm effects. Once they see we are giving them this respect and are willing to work with them to get through their issues, they are more likely to trust us. We can then give them real support. If we cannot build this trust we need to find someone who can. They need someone to listen to them and to take their concerns seriously.
Here are some other things we can do:
- Encourage them to do the things they like doing
- Make sure they are eating properly and going to bed at a reasonable hour
- Praise them when they get things right or do things that are positive – build their self-esteem
- Encourage them to get help from a professional. The family doctor is a good place to start, but some might prefer a stranger. If this is the case, talk to your doctor and get them to recommend someone else. Maybe they can refer a professional who is experienced in dealing with teenage depression. Go with them so they do not feel alone
- If you cannot influence your child to go for help then you should go to get some guidance as to the next steps you can take
- Any talk of suicide or of people who have committed suicide should be taken seriously
- Any actions which have a finality about them should be taken seriously – giving away special possessions; meaningful goodbyes; getting affairs in order
In helping your teen through depression, you are really trying to change your child’s view of the world from a negative to a positive one. Mostly, you will be able to do this with love, understanding and patience, but if you feel the whole problem is getting beyond you, call in anyone who may have some influence on your child. Look for people with a special relationship – a school counsellor, a family friend or a favorite relative. Even if your child objects to involving these people, you still need to do it, as it could be matter of life or death.