What Makes A Depressed Person Want To Push You Away And Be Alone?
Depression causes a variety of reactions. The reactions may or may not be intended, real or imagined. With depression, certain chemicals in the brain become unstable, causing people to think rather irrationally. Many times, the sad feelings are so intense that for a lot of people, the only way to cope with them is to retreat themselves away from others or push their loved ones away.
Possible Reasons Why Depressed Persons Push Their Loved Ones Away
There could be several reasons why depressed individuals feel the need to push their loved ones away, among them:
- Depressed individuals are hopeless beyond hope that they feel nobody else can help them.
- There is a tendency to feel threatened or overwhelmed by the presence of loved ones.
- Depressed individuals love their family and loved ones so much that they would not want to drag them into the “mess” they feel they are in.
- In worse cases, severe depression can make people delusional and paranoid that they may see their loved ones as “enemies”.
While the tendency to push loved ones away is real, it does not mean that it is okay. If you are at the other end, allowing your loved one to push you away because he or she is suffering from depression will only bring more harm than good to both of you. Keep in mind that your “significant other” is at a very low point at the moment, and even though he or she may not realize it, your loved one actually needs your love and support.
Reversing Depression
Let your loved one know that you are not the type of person who will leave her in the dark nor are you someone who will just take no for an answer.
So here are some things you can try to do to reverse depression and make your loved one feel better:
- Stay with him/her while giving him/her space at the same time. Give him/her time to sort his/her emotions, but don’t let him/her mope. You don’t necessarily have to say anything. Just be there to hold his/her hand and to offer your shoulder when he/she needs to lean on to someone.
- Take your loved one somewhere fun. A park with a playground and children playing is a nice place to spend a cool afternoon. Watching kids play and hearing them laugh is very good to the senses. Who knows, you might actually get your loved one to smile.
- Get your loved one to eat ice cream. Who doesn’t love the thought of ice cream, especially on a sunny day? There’s something about ice cream that takes us back to the time when we were little kids, a time when we didn’t have a care in the world, a time when we didn’t have time to be sad.
- Watch DVDs. Spend all afternoon just watching light and funny flicks. As much as possible, have the lights on. Being in dark places will not do anything to lift the mood of your loved one.
- Keep in mind that depression should never last for more than a few days. If none of the above helps to reduce your loved one’s feeling of sadness and if your loved one is already exhibiting signs and symptoms that affect his/her health (not sleeping very well or sleeping too much, not eating or overeating, having palpitations and panic attacks ), do the next best thing – get your loved one to see a counselor or a therapist.
Untreated depression can progress into something much worse and you really don’t want that to happen. Even severe depression has good chances of getting healed completely if treatment has begun early on.
Most Depression Is Diet Related
It seems strange to think that depression is diet related. But it has been estimated that 90% of chronically depressed people are deficient in proper nutrition.
Depression is a serious and debilitating illness which can break families apart. It can cause problems at work and often leads to suicide. The trend is, alarmingly, on the rise.
Depletion of the neurotransmitter called norepinephrine can result in loss of alertness, a poor memory and clinical depression.
The medical solution is to prescribe anti-depressants. These not only take time to work, but are toxic in nature. They do not deal with the cause of depression. Side effects can be extremely unpleasant. And one of them compounds the depression, making it worse.
There are as many causes of depression as there are people with it, so this is a complicated area to venture into. Everyone needs a different solution, to match their individual needs. And the best way to resolve the cause of your depression, on an individual basis, is through homeopathic treatment.
However, there is also something you can do yourself. Dr Abram Hoffer and Dr Andrew Saul (author of Fire Your Doctor) have discovered that depression can be significantly improved, if not cured, by increasing your nutrient intake.
It has been said that the west has never been do well fed but so poorly nourished. Not only do most people lack the knowledge of good nutrition, the modern farming methods are focused on quantity rather than quality. However, there are ways around this.
The production of norepinephrine can be increased dramatically by increasing your levels of vitamin C and the vitamin B complex. However, before you rush out and buy these vitamins as supplements, you need to be aware of problems they can cause.
The majority of nutrient supplements on the market today are isolated and synthetic. They are made in a laboratory. They can give you a short term favourable result, but can be harmful in the long term. Your body does nor recognise nutrients in isolation as it has been designed to get all its nutrition from the perfect balance of healthy food.
All nutrients are co-dependent on a complex array of other nutrients. So your best source of perfect nutrition is to eat healthy foods. With 90% of depression diet related, discover the way to cure it, along with any other ailments, with healthy eating.
By the way, all medical drugs upset the absorption of nutrients, further compounding your depression.
How to Cope With Holiday Stress and Depression
The stress of the holidays triggers sadness and depression for many people. This time of year is especially difficult because there’s an expectation of feeling merry and generous. People compare their emotions to what they assume others are experiencing or what they’re supposed to feel and then think that they alone fall short. They judge themselves and feel like an outsider.
There are a host of things that add to stress and difficult emotions during the holidays.
- Finances. Not enough money or the fear of not having enough to buy gifts leads to sadness and guilt. The stress of financial hardship during this economic downturn is often compounded by shame. When you can’t afford to celebrate is can feel devastating.
- Stress. The stress of shopping and planning family dinners when you’re already overworked and tired.
- Loneliness. A whopping 43 percent of Americans are single, and 27 percent of Americans live alone. When others are with their families, it can be very painful for those who are alone. Seventeen percent of singles are over 65, when health, age, and mobility can make it more difficult to enjoy yourself.
- Grief. Missing a deceased loved one who won’t be joining you. Seniors have more reasons to grieve.
- Estrangement. When you’re not speaking to a relative, family get togethers can usher in feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, or inner conflict about whether to communicate.
- Divorce. If you’re newly divorced, the holidays may remind you of happier times and accentuate your grief. It’s especially difficult for adult children of divorce who have to balance seeing two sets of parents. The stress is multiplied for married children who have three or even four sets of parents to visit.
- Pleasing. Trying to please all of your relatives – deciding what to get, whom to see, and what to do – can make you feel guilty and not enough, which leads to depression.
- SAD. Many people experience the blues during gloomy weather due to decreased sunlight, called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
Much of the planning, shopping, and cooking is done by women, so they carry the greater burden in preparing for family gatherings. Women are at greater risk for depression. than men. They’re twice as likely to experience depression. After heart disease, depression is the most debilitating illness for women, while it’s tenth for men.
Some measures you can take to cope the holiday blues include:
- Make plans in advance, so you know how and with whom your holidays will be spent. Uncertainty and putting off decision-making add enormous stress.
- Shop early and allow time to wrap and mail packages to avoid the shopping crunch.
- Ask for help from your family and children. Women tend to think they have to do everything, when a team effort can be more fun.
- Don’t allow perfectionism to wear you down. Remember it’s being together and goodwill that matters.
- Make time to rest and rejuvenate even amidst the pressure of getting things done. This will give you more energy.
- Shame prevents people from being open about gift-giving when they can’t afford it. Instead of struggling to buy a gift, let your loved ones know how much you care and would like to, but can’t afford it. That intimate moment will relieve your stress and nourish you both.
- Spend time alone to reflect and grieve, if necessary. Pushing down feelings leads to depression. Let yourself feel. Then do something nice for yourself and socialize.
- Don’t isolate. Reach out to others who also may be lonely. If you don’t have someone to be with, volunteer to help those in need. It can be very uplifting and gratifying.
The signs of depression are feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and/or guilt, crying, loss of interest in usual activities, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, social withdrawal, and changes in sleep, weight, or appetite. If these symptoms are severe or continue for a few weeks, more than the holidays may be the cause. Seek professional help.
Depression Medication – Questions to Ask Your Doctor
Going on medication of any kind is a big step. Many people still see their doctor as an authority figure who should not be questioned. Consulting with your doctor or health professional on depression medication is especially difficult due to the stigma related to mental illness and the inherent vulnerability stemming from the subject matter. Below is a list of essential questions to ask your doctor before going on medication. Many people find it useful to print out the list and carry it with them. I would suggest writing down the answers. The amount of information given in a short consultation is hard to remember. If your doctor is unwilling or unable to answer the following questions I would suggest a second opinion. New drugs may be less familiar to them but there are many different ways they can access the information to answer your questions during your consultation. It’s a two way street, for doctors to make appropriate recommendations about medication they need all the facts about your symptoms and past medical history.
*What are the reasons for choosing this medication over other alternatives?
*What will the medication do?
*What are the side effects?
*How long will the side effects last?
*How long before it works?
*What is involved in coming off the drug?
*What are the other options?
*Are they any precautions? (e.g. other medications or previous illness)
It’s important to be aware that medication may give relief but the psychological and lifestyle factors that are contributing to depression still need to be addressed Medication may give you the motivation to attend to the problems that are holding you back from recovery. Remember it is your choice. You have the right to consult another doctor. To explore natural therapies. To change medication if after giving it a trial it’s not right for you
If you are still not sure do more research ask your pharmacist, naturopath, find reputable sources of information on the internet or ask your doctor for any written material they may have on the drug. Discuss it with trusted friends, you will be surprised once you start the conversation how many people have tried different medications at different times in their life. Their experience though individual and dependent on their particular situation is still valuable information to help you decide what is right for you. It may take some trial and error and some patience but if you find something that helps you get your life back on track then its worth it.